Download Redneck Nation: How the South Really Won the War by Michael Graham PDF

By Michael Graham

Omit the calzone and cannoli; the sole distinction among Brooklyn, long island, and Birmingham, Alabama, is that you simply can't get a gun rack right into a Trans Am. Trailer parks, pickup vans, Hee Haw, grits...just the point out of anybody of those can elicit a smirk north of the Mason-Dixon Line. yet in keeping with Michael Graham, the South is getting the final snicker simply because redneckery has unfold like kudzu from Bangor to Baja. Don't think it? How else do you clarify the very good approval for NASCAR and professional wrestling? Now Michael Graham-writer, comic, radio speak convey host, and previous GOP flack-fearlessly takes on immense executive, the general public institution process, Enron, unfastened speech, illiteracy, multiculturalism, and racism. He proves that the information Northern liberals as soon as marched south to protest make up the time table they advertise this present day. Provocative, sincere, and hilarious, Graham takes no prisoners-reminding us that for each slack-jawed yokel swearing he simply observed Elvis, there's a left-wing Yankee attempting to re-segregate America's colleges or gazing the chitlin' consuming contest on his favourite fact television exhibit.

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I went bowling for the first time, feeling like a local in my rented two-tone shoes and sucking on my giant fizzy soda. I ate hamburgers and hot dogs and french fries. I went to a McDonald's for the first time, this was of course before Micky D's march to global domination. It was certainly before there was one in Glasgow. My dad took me to New York City. that was love at first sight. I loved it then and I love it still. Even now, overloaded with sanitized bullshit Trump glass towers and condo-yuppie pseudoculture, it is still a complete mindfuck.

And it seemed a lot more attractive to me than home. Karen and Leslie took me to their junior high school for a day, where one of their teachers put on a peculiar version of show-and-tell in my honor. To my crimson-faced, buttocks-clenching embarrassment, I was the showand-tell. I will forever remember the teacher as a merry buffoon named Glenn. It almost certainly was not his name, although in all other aspects he was most assuredly a Glenn, jocky and stupid. He brought me out to the front of the class and told all the kids that I was from "Scotchland," where golf had been invented.

My first ride in a station wagon. Wood-effect panels, leather seats, automatic transmission-an upholstered land-boat a child could drive. I loved the term itself: station wagon. It sounded so American, like the Wild West, as if it had something to do with the railroads and avoiding hostile Indians. Thankfully we made the voyage across the borough of Queens unmolested by the local tribesmen. James and Susan's family was almost exactly like my own. Of their four kids, Stephen and Lesley were about the same age as my older brother and sister, Karen was a few months older than me, and young James (Jamie) was born a year before my wee sister, Lynn.

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