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By Elizabeth Perl
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Extra info for Psychotherapy with Adolescent Girls and Young Women: Fostering Autonomy through Attachment
Sample text
43). Benjamin suggests that autonomy develops not in the absence of connection but rather in the context of ongoing relationship. Paradoxically, perhaps, adolescents look to their parents to recognize and validate their independence. Parental capacity to appreciate the daughter as a separate person can enrich the quality of their attachment. Parents’ continuing importance may not be as evident as daughters begin to turn to peers. The adolescent may confide less in parents and spend less time with them relative to friends, but her social development may nonetheless depend on this ongoing familial connection.
980). Parents must remain attuned to the adolescent’s independent experience and be ready to step in, but in response to their daughter’s needs rather than their own. Unresolved parental dependency needs may cause parents to sabotage their daughter’s growing independence. A parent who is threatened by the child’s emerging autonomy may be systematically unavailable when she is most needed and intrusively present when she is not, thereby reinforcing dependent behavior and subtly discouraging independent behavior.
Audrey’s primary resistance took the form of cancellations. She persisted with this oppositional stance in the face of confrontation and was well aware that she was sabotaging her treatment. The gratification that Audrey derived from asserting control in this manner carried more weight than her motivation to take charge of her life. The stubborn and self-defeating nature of this behavior suggested that her resistance functioned, at least in part, to defy. She had achieved independence from family—she had a 46 Chapter 2 job, her own home, and friends—but Audrey had maintained a preoccupation with, and investment in, opposition.